Creating and putting out into the world any kind of meaningful material is more difficult now than it ever was at age 20.
See, back then, I was awash in angst and I could take on any challenge given the single, powerful notion of youthful invincibility (thanks, mania) and an adequate supply of coffee. Most of the things I accomplished at that age, I only pursued because I saw someone else doing it and figured I could do whatever it was being done just as well, if not better. That’s why I started writing poetry as a teen, and ultimately why I started making video blogs (oh, vlogging) on YouTube as a young adult.
Continue reading “Professional Fuck-Up”
Hey. It’s time we had a little talk.
Before you start to worry and think you’ve fucked up, no, you’re not in trouble. Not all talks are to scold you for doing something wrong.
That being said, I would like to take a moment to express some concern. Over the past few days, you’ve had a sort of relapse. You got drunk a few times and forgot to take your meds for a few days. Normally this wouldn’t be too much of a red flag but it’s definitely falling in line with some the patterns presented in previous behavioral relapses. First, you feel good after taking your medications as directed for at least a month. Then, you get comfortable with how you feel on said medications and you proceed to drink excessively while on them. Finally, as a result of the repeated drinking episodes, you forget to take a few doses of your medications. It’s just what happens. I’m not scolding you, I’m just shedding some light on this.
I get this is “just what happens” when you get back on medications, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. Some patterns can be broken, and I think this is one of them.
First thing’s first: don’t slack on the meds just because you “feel normal.” The medications are in place to maintain your mood. If you slip up for a few days, it could throw everything out of whack. Secondly, having the occasional drink every once in a while is fine. Having a bottle to yourself is excessive. For now, lay off the substances until you find yourself feeling better over a longer period of time. Lastly, don’t give up on your medication regimen if you’ve slipped up for a few days. Getting back on schedule is tough but rewarding once you do. And you can do it.
You’re doing good. Just get back on track and you’ll be doing great.