[2.] The Popsicle Thief

pops
[This is part 2 in a series about shitty things I’ve done to people.  You can read the original post here.]
Dear First Grade Teacher Whose Name I Don’t Remember,
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING THE BASIS OF MY ANXIETY DREAMS FOR MANY YEARS.  I GET IT; I STOLE SOME OF YOUR POPSICLES ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL AND GAVE THEM TO MY FRIENDS AND YOU DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH FOR YOUR CLASS AS A RESULT.  YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SAY “DON’T YOU EAT ENOUGH ALREADY?!”  THAT SHIT GAVE ME A COMPLEX THAT LASTED FOR YEARS AND TRUTH BE TOLD I STILL EXPERIENCE THE RESIDUAL EFFECTS OF THAT SHIT TO THIS DAY.  I HOPE YOU’RE IN AN ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY BEING FORCE-FED TAPIOCA PUDDING YOU CRUEL, FAT-SHAMING BITCH.
Regards,
Leila
[I never said there would be a format to these things.  I just needed to get that off my chest.]

 

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Author: Leila

Just another case of arrested development.

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