In The End…

 

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Man, a lot has changed since my last post.

I woke up as a single woman last Tuesday.

I woke up as a single woman on Tuesday because my now-ex terminated our relationship.  I woke up as a single woman on Tuesday because my now-ex terminated our relationship after I had forced him in a position to do so.

I woke up as a single woman on Tuesday because my now-ex terminated our relationship after I had forced him in a position to do so, and I did nothing to stop him.

There were three things that were made abundantly clear on Monday night: (1) I was not satisfied with the relationship, (2) he was not satisfied with the way I was treating him and our relationship in response, and (3) love wasn’t enough to keep the sinking ship afloat.

But that’s okay.  That’s okay because it’s life, and love and loss are both a part of life.

Right now, I’m trying to figure what to do with my life.  I bounced from couch to couch for a few days before sucking up my pride and asking if I could stay at my parents’ house.  It’s been an adjustment, an adjustment that has provoked major anxiety within me.  I guess that’s par for the course.  The anxiety is coming from a place of not wanting to move backwards; I’ll be 30 in a week and living with my parents again is not where I thought I’d be.

Phrase of the month (thus far): “Oh well.”