It appears that I have unintentionally taken a one month sabbatical from blogging.
I really do appreciate those of you who have reached out and tried to check on me. I haven’t been very communicative with my feelings, but it’s hard to be communicative when you can’t identify a single feeling to describe to someone. Feelings are a tangled fucking mess.
But both my sister and my best friend are pushing me to get back into writing, reminding me it was my first love. So, I guess I’m here to do just that.
Now, do I want to write about the last month? Not exactly. Things have been weird and complicated, leading me to question why I do so much for people who will probably lead to my inevitable heart attack. Family issues are the worst and I don’t like discussing them publicly.
What I can tell you is that my personal life is pretty sweet. After years of making empty promises to “go back to school,” I’m finally doing it. I enrolled in three courses that will go toward an associate’s degree in interior design. It’s going to be a drastic shift from my social work background, but it’s definitely the shift I need at this point. Up until this point, I’d considered both a master’s degree in public policy or a degree in occupational therapy, but I’m pretty sure I only considered them to appease others. Lip service is my specialty, and I will tell you what you want to hear just to get you off my back.
My career change is being met with mixed reviews, and I’m not garnering the support I thought I would be. Well, haters be damned. I don’t want to live a life that constantly revolves around the approval of others. That is old hat to me.
What I do want, more than anything, is to be myself. I want a job that allows me to be creative and professional. I want to be a student again and delay the inevitability of adulthood for just another year. I want to pave the way for a stable life. Above all, I want to create.
Here we go.