One Month

It appears that I have unintentionally taken a one month sabbatical from blogging.

I really do appreciate those of you who have reached out and tried to check on me.  I haven’t been very communicative with my feelings, but it’s hard to be communicative when you can’t identify a single feeling to describe to someone.  Feelings are a tangled fucking mess.

But both my sister and my best friend are pushing me to get back into writing, reminding me it was my first love.  So, I guess I’m here to do just that.

Now, do I want to write about the last month?  Not exactly. Things have been weird and complicated, leading me to question why I do so much for people who will probably lead to my inevitable heart attack.  Family issues are the worst and I don’t like discussing them publicly.

What I can tell you is that my personal life is pretty sweet.  After years of making empty promises to “go back to school,” I’m finally doing it.  I enrolled in three courses that will go toward an associate’s degree in interior design.  It’s going to be a drastic shift from my social work background, but it’s definitely the shift I need at this point.  Up until this point, I’d considered both a master’s degree in public policy or a degree in occupational therapy, but I’m pretty sure I only considered them to appease others.  Lip service is my specialty, and I will tell you what you want to hear just to get you off my back.

My career change is being met with mixed reviews, and I’m not garnering the support I thought I would be.  Well, haters be damned.  I don’t want to live a life that constantly revolves around the approval of others.  That is old hat to me.

What I do want, more than anything, is to be myself.  I want a job that allows me to be creative and professional.  I want to be a student again and delay the inevitability of adulthood for just another year.  I want to pave the way for a stable life.  Above all, I want to create.

Here we go.

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Author: Leila

Just another case of arrested development.

3 thoughts on “One Month”

  1. You go get what YOU want! Don’t listen to others. I know that’s hard when they are all screaming in your face about it but just ignore them as best you can and do what you need to do to be happy. That’s all that matters. You take care of you right now.

    Liked by 1 person

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