Despite my best efforts to focus on the good and meaningful things in life, I can’t bring myself to be positive right now.

My grandfather is in the hospital and I’m pretty upset about it.  The details don’t matter right now.  I’m just glad he’s getting the care he needs.

Things between my parents and I are strained to put it mildly.  My father let me know that he doesn’t approve of my lifestyle.  Again, I’m paraphrasing.  That sentence is the best way to describe a 25 minute one-sided conversation.  My mother agrees with him which is doubly painful.  I’m tired and I’m left with the realization that my best will never be good enough.  My sister once said I was the glue that held the family together.  Well, even glue becomes brittle over time, breaking with the application of pressure.

Be a good girl
You’ve gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn’t good enough
To make us proud

Tonight’s song is “Perfect” by Alanis Morissette.  It needs no explaining.  Goodnight.


Author: Leila

Just another case of arrested development.

2 thoughts on ““Perfect””

  1. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Family should be together when they need each other and yet it is when they need each other that families somehow manage to choose to hurt each other and turn each other away. That’s how families are. It doesn’t excuse it, it just sort of explains it.

    It’s even more hurtful when they let you know they don’t approve of you. Remember that it is not for them to approve or disapprove of you. YOU and you alone are the one that can approve of yourself and of your lifestyle. Be who you are, now who others want you to be. I know it’s hard but just hang on. Hang on to who you are and don’t let anyone change that. Eventually they will see the light and if they don’t, it is their loss.

    Sending you a big hug! Offering a hankie, an ear, and a big glass of warm milk with cookies because that always makes everything seem better!

    Liked by 1 person

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