In Good Company // “With A Little Help From My Friends”

with a little help

Today’s NaBloPoMo Prompt: Who do you like to be with when you’re feeling sad?

Well, there’s a lot of people that help me deal with a lot of different sadnesses.  Sadness can be multifaceted; sometimes you’re experiencing-loss-sad (mourning), or feeling-empty-sad (desolation), or without-meaning-or-direction-or-purpose-sad (hopelessness).  “Sad” as a descriptor is a catch-all, an umbrella term.

But for every kind of “sad,” there’s a person I would spend time with to cheer myself up.

no pressure

My best friend provides me with great deal of comfort when I’m feeling a significant amount of loss.  Be it a relationship, or a time or place in life, or a loved one, my best friend is my shoulder to cry on.  We’ve been friends for almost 15 years and have seen each other through some shit.  We help each other process the losses and put things into perspective, and there’s no other person I know who can relate as well as she can.

Ah, to be an asshole sister/teenager again.
Ah, to be an asshole sister/teenager again.

Sadness that stems from feeling empty is best coped with by hanging out with my siblings.  They each bring something different to the table.  My brother validates my feelings and doesn’t allow me to give into maladaptive thought processes.  He typically calls it like he sees it.  Sometimes he can be a bit abrupt, but he means well.  My sister living abroad also validates my feelings and she nurtures the good stuff as well.  She’s able to normalize what I’m experiencing and she makes me feel like I’m not alone; she’s a bit more empathetic than my brother, but they’re both awesome and lovely.  The baby of the family reminds me not to sweat the small stuff.  She’s thirteen and she doesn’t really let the negative effect her.  Her feelings don’t typically overrule her thoughts, and because of this, she can respond to her emotions rationally.  I draw inspiration from that and take a step back to evaluate my situation as a whole.  It typically makes me feel better.

cryhug

I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend when I’m experiencing the hopeless kind of sadness.  When I’m in full-blown existential crisis mode, he’s able to normalize my feelings (“Everyone at some point in their life feels this way.  I do, too.”) and he can push me in a positive direction.  This kind of sad required a lot of hugging, I’ll admit.  Thankfully, he’s a damn good hugger.

When I think of this group of people, I can’t help but sing “With A Little Help From My Friends” in my head.  It’s a perfect way to communicate to you what these people do for me.  If it wasn’t for them, I would have been long gone by now.  On that note, I’m going to play computer games with my boyfriend until bedtime.  Goodnight, y’all.

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Author: Leila

Just another case of arrested development.

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