Day 1 // “In Other Words”

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My grandfather on his most recent birthday.

It’s late in the day, but I must make my first NaBloPoMo post before it’s too late.

I had every intention of regaling you with the story of how I spent my Halloween.  I queued up some silly pictures to attach to the story and created an appropriate soundtrack around it.  It’s saved as a draft, I think.

I never got around to publishing it, obviously.

Instead, I had to return to my hometown to tend to some family matters.  My grandfather is ill and my parents are out of town for the weekend.  My brother was first on the scene, prompting me to take action when he became too overwhelmed to deal with the situation on his own.  Overall, I think that my brother and I responded as best as we could, and we stayed calm to a point, but at the end of the day, we were just tired and feeling defeated.

My boyfriend, my brother, and I went out for dinner to remove ourselves from the situation for awhile.  We each had a drink and tried to decompress.  My brother and I looked at each other from across the table wanting to discuss our anger and frustration at the situation, but we didn’t.  We tried to be happy and “normal,” whatever that is.

My brother is spending the night at my parents’ house to keep watch over my grandfather’s condition. I’ll be relieving him around noon tomorrow morning.

My father called while I was on my way home, but I couldn’t bring myself to go into too much detail.  That hour-long drive home was the first time my boyfriend and I could talk to each other without distraction.  He’s never been out of the country and we were talking about the countries we want to visit together.  It was a beautiful and hopeful discussion.

When my father and I did end up talking, he told my that my brother and I shouldn’t be so quick to jump when my grandmother calls.  There is a back story to that statement, but it’s decades long and ugly and convoluted and I don’t want to go into it right now.

Anyway, my father kept saying my grandfather is going to die soon, and that I should be prepared for that time to come.

I’ve finally changed into my pajamas and I’m going to make some sleepytime tea.  I’m going to crawl in bed with my boyfriend and melt into the covers.

Your song of the day is “In Other Words” by Ben Kweller. I could tell you about how it makes me feel and how it is relevant to the events of the day, but I’m just going to leave it here.  Goodnight, all.  Be good to one another.


Author: Leila

Just another case of arrested development.

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